Just recently I had come to accept a difficult realization. The realization that I wanted what felt good, over the truth. That sentence took me a long time to realize. And even longer to admit.
I’ve always heard people say:
"Process over outcome."
"Chop wood, carry water."
"Don't focus on the result."
From coaches, motivational speakers, books and even our six TFI Jiu Jitsu principles. I said it too. It sounded good. Living it was a different story.
I remember my first white belt tournament. Feeling the nerves, feeling scared, anxiety…. Most of all, I remember wanting to win. Part of it was from watching my brother win, a lot…. I too, wanted to believe I was that person.
Without the experiences that would shape me.
Without the pain and suffering it took to get there.
Without shedding the layers of the person I was at the time.
It was hard to see value in that when video games felt better than reading, skipping workouts and eating sugary foods seemed far more enjoyable than investing in my future.
That mindset stayed with me longer than I care to admit. Despite the progress I made externally, I still wanted what was easier. I still wrestle with it to this day. As a leader, a martial artist, a husband or an entrepreneur. As a man.
The outcomes are so much more appealing.
More than knowing the true, hard cost.
More than seeking the truth.
More than feeling the hurt from coming face to face with reality.
A place where my flaws are on display for everyone to see.
Improper planning for a meeting.
An emotional reaction to someone's good intentions.
An alarm I slept through.
A message I forgot to respond to.
A project missed.
Cardio skipped.
Because I am actually getting everything I want. What I truly want is comfort. Until I see the person it is making me become. Less responsible. Softer. Weaker.
Instead of the person I am capable of becoming.
The person who trades comfort, to be proud of themselves.
The person who sets a standard for others to follow.
Someone who walks with integrity.
Who knows the truth and is comfortable in it, no matter how ugly.
Because even though the truth is painful. It’s real. It’s filled with knowledge and wisdom. A compass for where your effort should go. It will set you free.
While I know I am still the same person underneath, what has changed is the willingness to know the truth above all else. A lie only feels good for so long, until you see who you’ve actually become.
A wise man told me, “Be kind to your future self”. Make your decisions today, for him. Make them for your family. Your loved ones. Your kids. The business you want to thrive. The people you want to lead.
The real meaning of process over outcome to me, isn’t one day at a time, it’s one decision at a time. Make your decision count.
See you on the mats,
Christopher Hargett
