Sometimes I ask myself what keeps me going.
The only answer I find is purpose.
Not long ago, I was speaking with a friend who was going through a difficult moment. I asked him a simple question.
"What is your purpose?"
He paused… and said he didn't know.
Then he asked me, "How do you find one?"
That question stayed with me.
Because when I look back, I don't think I ever sat down and decided my purpose.
I believe purpose finds you.
It shows up in small moments.
In conversations.
In experiences you did not expect.
You just have to be open enough to recognize it.
And once you do, something changes.
A person with purpose does not become attached to outcomes.
Not to winning.
Not to losing.
Not to success or failure.
They keep moving forward regardless of what happens around them.
At one point, I believed my purpose was to become a world champion.
Then I did.
So I thought I needed to win more.
And I did that too.
Then I thought my purpose was to build a team.
And I built one.
But something was missing.
I had the medals.
I had the team.
I had the results.
And still… it didn't feel complete.
That is when I realized something important.
I was attaching my sense of purpose to outcomes.
To things I thought would fulfill me.
But they didn't.
The shift came when I understood my real purpose.
To use my knowledge of Jiu Jitsu to help people transform.
To become better versions of themselves.
That is when everything started to feel different.
The medals mattered less.
The moments mattered more.
Seeing a student smile after overcoming something difficult.
Watching a child go from shy to confident.
Seeing people feel safe, supported, and part of something.
Those moments meant more than any title.
That is when I understood…
Purpose is not a destination.
It is the appreciation of the process.
The constant transformation we go through.
That is the real reward.
Like they say,
The love for preparation must be greater than the love of winning.
Maybe one day my purpose will change.
Maybe it will be to sit back and watch everything grow.
To enjoy the time with family, students, and the people who shared this journey.
But until that moment comes…
I will keep showing up.
I will keep building.
I will keep appreciating the long days, the conversations, and the transformation happening every day.
Because now I understand.
Purpose is not something you reach.
It is something you live.
Regardless of the outcome.
Sensei Xande
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